Pigs are fat and they're used in lard!
I'm gonna go buy me a yard!

Yards are often built with dirt!
I do often wear a shirt!

Shirts are us'ly made o' cloth!
I'm gonna go squash me that moth!

Moths are really ugly bugs!
I'm gonna go fill me some mugs!

Mugs are used to carry stuff!
I'm gonna go buy me an earmuff!

Earmuffs are used to warm one's ears!
Ears are often owned by deers!

Deers are us'ly covered with hair!
So is that big ugly bear!

Bears are really really big!
Just like my big fat pet pig!

Pigs are fat and they're used in lard...

WAAAAAHEHE!

Die Fishe stinken!
(the fish stink)

Ablosquilmawa!

How many fish could a fish dish dish if a fish dish could dish fish!?
A lot!

1 and 1 and 1 is 3!
That number does rhyme with "me!"

3 and 3 and 3 is 9!
That number does rhyme with "mine!"

9 and 9 and 9 is large!
Something having to do with Large Marge!

Large Marge is incredibly fat!
Aw, heck! I'm sick o' these stupid army rhyme thingies!

One moring I was feeling sad and I walked into the breakfast nook and my mom
said, "Brak, don't come in here with that face" so I said, "Well whadya want
me to do, get a new face?" and she said, "No, I want you to eat your
waffles!" And my mom was usually pretty good to me. One day she bought me
a brand new shoe and she said, "Brak, if you're a good boy I'll buy you the
other shoe." So some day I might have a brand new pair o' shoes. So, at
least I got that goin' for me...

Such are the joys of Brak! Go download some good Brak stuff and all shall
be well!

That's right! Sleep like a cactus!

Ablosquilmawa!

MATH CLASS!
Today's subject: solving proofs by contradiction.

Given: Nothing!
Prove: 5+5!=5

Assume temporarily that 5+5=5. Then 5+5 would not !=5. But this
contradicts the given information that... eh... Blast! I hate it when
that happens!

CLASS DISMISSED!

STORY TIME!

Today's story is titled Bartholomew's Quest!

Once upon a time, there was a guy named Bartholomew! He had 2 arms! His
feet were all large and distorted! He weren't pretty! He was ugly! So he
went on a quest to become unugly!
He failed!

The end!!

STORY TIME'S OVER!

NAP TIME!

NAP'S OVER!

According to those smart people, you should eat lo'sa bread ev'ry day! So
go eat yer bread, ya foo'!

Ablosquilmawa!

Schlimpledoo, representing the best in protective eyewear.

Eggnog is built by breaking an egg, an' nogging it! like this:
BAM! NOG! NOG! NOG! NOG! NOG! NOG!

And viola! Eggnog!

Not the real thing but and incredible simulation.

NEVER take the imitation product! ALWAYS get da REAL one!

Hit the road, Jack! Don't you come back no more no more no MORE no more!
Who da heck is Jack!?

Don't make me step on you, man! I'l squash you like and easily squashable
object!

Eight o' clock an' all's well! Doh! Ow! Oh my spleen! I cracked my
spleen! Eh, nevermind about that clock thing. It's 72:00 and my spleen's
broke! Darn the luck DARN!

Never accept wienerloaf from a stranger. Or anyone for that matter. 'Tis
bad fer you!

D'you hear the one about the wooden radish? Yeah, that was a bad one.

Orangejuice is broken!

Oh no, the pants! They is wrong!
*SCREAM*

Fish don't grow on trees, stooped!

Can I have your left shoe?

Ablosquilmawa!

I shall now preoceed to write the longest word I can think of:
Ishlimboofloaferumeflumbledoowiximillerfimblydoozamesheringlaquishufflooferooperoomeroozeroogerooberoof!
Don't tell me you're disappointed, had I kept going there wouldn't be enough
room for more random yackage (as if there were a space limit)!

Glass o' milk!
Glass o' lemonade!
Glass o' applejuice!
Glass o' soda!
Glass o' water!
Glass o' liquid!

Never down a bucket of lard!
Don't drink too much coffee, kids!
Just say no to drugs!
A winner is you!
Don't whiz on the electric fence!
Never eat raspberries!
Release my waffle!
Jimmy cracked corn and I don't care!
Jack be nimble, Jack be quick, Jack burned his butt on da flamin' candle
stick!
All kids love log!
Don't let me catch you knawing on that rooster again!
Don't eat pinecones!
Don't step on pointy objects!
Don't fall off of a large building!
Don't drown!
Don't die!
Don't get sick!
Don't be a fool; stay in school!
Don't eat me!
Don't do stuff!

Squish the fish!

Paper bag!

Screaming contest!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH,
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Beat dat! Haw, you can't, cuz I didn't write it in here! OH HOHO! OH! HO
HOHO! OH!

The walls have teeth!

NO! It was ME! EYE killed the dinosaurs! Aha ha *hack, cough*! Ran 'em
over with ma truck!

No busses, eh? Well, whadya call THAT!? *points to skeleton of a bus*

That's right! Busses during the age of the dinosaur!

Rant of the now:

Argh! I'm upset about @#$%^&*! @#$%^&*@#$%^&*@#$%^&*@#$%^&*!!!!!!!!!!!!!

End rant of the now!

List o' stuff:
Shoes
Feet
Toes
Logs
Forks
Spoons
Papers
Tools
Fools
Spools
Mules
Teeth
Denchers
Penciles
Plates
Paper
Plastic
Ceramic
Liquid
Fluid
Gas
Lid
Bridge
Stairs
Bell
Window
Books
Toilets
Socks
Armadillos
Pumpkins
Bananas
Fruitcake
Ball
Box

ECW: Electromagnetic Corn Waffle! Corn Waffle of Electromagneticism!

The plural form of vertex is vertices!

I'm not wearing any shoes!

My clock displays the current time. Does yours? NO! In aproximately 24
hours it would! 24 hours from now != now! You think your so smart,
thinking it'll be the same time in 24 hours, but yer WRONG! YOU'RE ALL
WRONG! ALL O' YOU! THE WHOLE LOT O' YA!

Dig a hole dig a hole dig a hole.

BOING!

EEEEEE!

MEOW!

MOO!

OINK!

YOU need to eat more fiber!

Lettuce is ruffage, cuz my mom said so!

My dad could beat up your dad! Yes he could! He could an' you know it!

Now go on! SCRAM!

Ya lousy bum...

Ablosquilmawa!

End!